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Getting out of town…or not!

It’s always fun for me to read the blogs that my teammates put out there when they’re traveling to races…Gila, Mt. Hood, Cascade (coming up). I love to hear about what’s going on and how they’re doing. It’s a huge motivator to keep training and to keep making my (often failed) attempts to race out of town.

Now that the season is essentially over here, traveling is essential if I still want to race – and I do. After a two year break (to have Owen), I can’t seem to bring my season to an end. I’m completely burned out with training,juggling everyone’s schedules to train, etc., but for some reason, I just don’t want to stop. Maybe I’m trying to make up for lost time or maybe it’s that I’m starting to feel like I used to on the bike – I’ve missed that!

I tried to go to L.A. to race this weekend. I managed to make it happen in May. Cody was out of town for a month and Idecided I wouldbring my parents down for a visit and take off for a day to race. Imade it toPalmSprings the night before and stayed there becauseI was too tired to continue, drove the rest of the way to Long Beach in the morning, raced, and drove home. 24 hours away from home with 12 hours of driving and a race in between then back tochasing a toddler the next day. It wasn’tperfect, but I would say it was worth the effort.

This time, Cody was in town, so I thought it would be a no brainer. I would get up Saturday morning, get my stuff together, get a coffee, drive over, nice dinner, nice hotel, race Sunday, drive home – ahhh! I didn’tinvite anyone to go. I needed some time alone! (Can any of you moms relateor is it just me?)

I woke up early Saturday morning and was freezing, pulled the covers up, and fell back to sleep. Woke up again, this time, hot! Hummm, what’s up? The frosty chill earlier in the morning was the air conditioner’s last burst before it died. Ok, no problem, get it fixed, leave town a little late, still make it, feeling good, it’s still going to be a great weekend!

I managed Owen down at the neighbor’s (much cooler) house and Cody took care ofmeeting the repairman, etc.Waiting, waiting, time passing, getting grumpy, realizing my relaxing drive and quiet hotelroom are slipping away, getting really grumpy. Much later that daythe a/c wasfixed, but I wasn’t ready to go. It had been way too hot to do all of the stuff I had to do to get myself going and I just couldn’t seem to pull it together.Poor me, no racing, but worst of all, no break.

Why didn’t you just leaveCody to take care of it and go do your race, you ask?

Well…I’ve been left to manage major household disasters and a 2-year-old while Cody has been out of town for work. It isn’tpleasant, to say the least.In addition, this was the “trial run” of me leaving the two of them alone together for an entire weekend. Cody is a great dad and very involved in Owen’s life. The two of them spend a ton of time together and have spent many a Saturday OR Sundaytogether while I race. They have not, however, spent an entire weekend together yet. Those of you who don’t have kids may or may not get this, but I’m pretty sure the moms will. Being with a kid 24/7 for a couple of days is WAY different than a few hours here and there.

Tiny Tornado for an entire weekend and household disaster -the Disaster Potential Meter was on HIGH.I actually want to travel again and need the cooperation of my boys to do it. This weekend would guage the likelihood that I would be able to do those NRC’s I’ve been eyeing for next year’s calendar.Iwant them to embrace my time away, not dread it.Most important, it won’t be something that we can do with any frequency if it’s too hard onpartner or the other.

I was totally frustrated yesterday and really sad today,I won’t lie. I wanted to race and I’m frustrated that it sometimes just doesn’t work no matter how hard I try or how well I plan(for a number of reasons other than a broken a/c – sick baby, sick mommy, sick babysitter, sick house plants.Just kidding about the sick plants, but the point is there’s a ton of stuff that gets in the way sometimes).

When I read their blogs or see the team e-mails going around about how a race went or what’s coming up, I wonder when and if I will ever be able to travel and race like my teammates do (and likeI used to).Things are very different now. Without a doubt better, butIdo sometimes miss those times and the freedom I had to take offwhenever I pleased.

I don’t know how life will be in the coming years and what parts of my life before baby will return, but I do know that I love to ride and race my bike and that most of the time it works out. It’s worth it to keep trying, even if I fail repeatedly because it gives me so much most of the time – stress release, fitness, friends, confidence, time together as a family (see past post), time alone, travel, etc., etc., etc. If or when it becomes more bad than good,I’ll know it’s time to make some changes or hang it up, but I’m not there yet.

I’ll doa hard ride tomorrow, get the self-pitty out of my system, and start planning to go to the next race. Maybe I’ll actually make it to the race nexttime. 😉

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2 comments

1 Melanie { 07.30.09 at 5:40 pm }

Mary, you are one tough chick and a great mom! Hang in there, and you’ll be back stronger than ever.

2 Riding with Kids — Women’s Bike Talk { 04.22.10 at 4:25 pm }

[…] who are able to ride and be mothers at the same time. It’s often hard to find the time to train and race when the little ones need you by their side night and day, so major props to the moms who get out […]

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